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Reel Homilies

How to Confront Someone Like a Saint

Episode Summary

What should you do when another person wrongs you, especially in a way that requires honest correction?

In this Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus teaches a process for fraternal correction: addressing wrongdoing with the hope of winning the person back rather than humiliating or defeating them. Fr. Tim highlights three practical principles from that process: speak directly when it is safe and prudent, protect communion, and speak honestly about what you actually know.

That means resisting gossip, public shaming, and the temptation to recruit people to your side. It also means recognizing that direct confrontation is not appropriate in every circumstance. Abuse, threats, serious crimes, exploitation, or danger to others should be brought to the proper pastoral, civil, or safeguarding authorities rather than handled as a private disagreement.

Jesus’ teaching also goes beyond a single conversation. If the person does not listen, Matthew 18 describes further steps involving one or two appropriate witnesses and, when necessary, the Church. These are not simply friends who already agree with one side, and the process is not an invitation to conduct an informal investigation or form a faction. The goal is truth, conversion, justice, and restored communion where possible.

Christian correction is not about winning. It is about speaking the truth in love to another person who remains a beloved son or daughter of God.

[00:00:00 –> 00:00:02] I may be the stupidest priest that has ever lived.
[00:00:02 –> 00:00:06] I just learned that wifi is not the internet.
[00:00:06 –> 00:00:09] Wi-Fi is the signal that connects to the internet.
[00:00:09 –> 00:00:10] Never knew that. Wow.
[00:00:10 –> 00:00:14] The wifi is a radio signal that connects to the source.
[00:00:14 –> 00:00:18] And this is literally what theology of faith is.
[00:00:18 –> 00:00:22] Faith connects us to Jesus and is healing.
[00:00:22 –> 00:00:26] Faith is not the healing. It connects us to the source.
[00:00:26 –> 00:00:27] In the gospel for this Sunday,
[00:00:27 –> 00:00:32] the woman’s faith is not the thing that heals her daughter.
[00:00:32 –> 00:00:34] Jesus heals her daughter.
[00:00:34 –> 00:00:36] I think it’s helpful for us because I think a lot
[00:00:36 –> 00:00:38] of the times we think the more faith I have,
[00:00:38 –> 00:00:40] the more healing I’ll have.
[00:00:40 –> 00:00:42] The greater the faith, the more the miracles.
[00:00:42 –> 00:00:45] Jesus is the one who heals.
[00:00:45 –> 00:00:48] Jesus is the source of miracles.
[00:00:48 –> 00:00:51] So it takes all the pressure off of ourselves.
[00:00:51 –> 00:00:54] Faith is the wifi. It connects us to the source.
[00:00:54 –> 00:00:55] This is spirit use, peace.

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Key Takeaways

  • Jesus teaches a prudent process for addressing a personal wrong, not simply a strategy for winning ordinary disagreements.
  • When it is safe and appropriate, speak directly to the person. Avoid gossip, public humiliation, or recruiting allies merely to strengthen your side.
  • Direct correction is not an absolute rule. Abuse, threats, serious wrongdoing, criminal conduct, or danger to others may require immediate involvement from appropriate authorities or safeguarding professionals.
  • Protect communion. That does not mean hiding wrongdoing or preserving appearances. Christian unity must be rooted in truth, justice, repentance, and charity.
  • Speak about what you actually know. Distinguish facts from assumptions and interpretations, and give the other person a genuine opportunity to explain.
  • If private correction does not resolve the matter, Jesus describes additional steps involving one or two appropriate witnesses and, when necessary, the Church.
  • Those additional people should serve the search for truth and correction, not become a group of supporters already aligned with one side.
  • The goal of fraternal correction is not revenge or victory. It is truth, conversion, justice, and reconciliation where possible.

What This Means for Prayer and Daily Life

When someone hurts us, one of our first instincts can be to talk about the person before talking to the person.

We vent. We send screenshots. We ask other people to take our side. We can build an entire case before the other person has had an opportunity to explain what happened.

Jesus offers a different approach. When it is safe, prudent, and proportionate, begin by speaking directly to the person. That respects both truth and the dignity of the other person. It also gives us a chance to discover whether our understanding of the situation is complete.

But direct conversation is not always the right first step. Serious wrongdoing, abuse, threats, exploitation, criminal conduct, or danger to others should not be handled as though they were ordinary interpersonal disagreements. Seeking help, reporting misconduct, or involving appropriate authorities can be the prudent and charitable response.

Fr. Tim’s second principle is to protect communion. That does not mean avoiding uncomfortable truths or covering up wrongdoing. Jesus Himself sought conversion and unity while also speaking firmly against hypocrisy and conduct that harmed others.

Finally, speak honestly about what you know. Avoid exaggerating motives or treating assumptions as facts. Listen carefully enough to allow for the possibility that your understanding is incomplete.

Before a difficult conversation, ask yourself: Am I seeking truth and the good of this person, or am I simply trying to win?

A simple prayer might be:

“Jesus, give me courage to speak the truth and humility to listen well. Protect me from gossip, resentment, and the need to win. Give me prudence to know when to speak directly and when to seek appropriate help. Help me pursue truth, justice, and reconciliation with charity.”

FAQ Section: Wi-Fi, Faith and Jesus

Fraternal correction is the Christian practice of addressing another person’s wrongdoing out of concern for that person’s good and the good of the community. Its purpose is not humiliation or revenge, but conversion, truth, and reconciliation.

Jesus begins by telling His disciples to address a brother who has sinned against them privately. If the person does not listen, He describes further steps involving one or two others and, ultimately, the Church. 

The process is meant to seek truth and repentance without immediately resorting to public shame or division.

No. Direct correction should be safe, prudent, proportionate, and likely to serve the person’s good.

If a situation involves abuse, threats, exploitation, serious crimes, safeguarding concerns, or danger to others, private confrontation should not be treated as a prerequisite to seeking help or reporting the matter to appropriate authorities.

Not necessarily. Written communication may sometimes be the safest or most practical way to begin a conversation.

The important question is how the medium is being used. Catholics should avoid using email, messaging, or social media to attack someone, publicly shame them, recruit allies, or unnecessarily escalate a conflict.

Protecting communion means seeking unity grounded in truth, justice, charity, and repentance.

It does not mean covering up serious wrongdoing, suppressing legitimate concerns, or preserving appearances at the expense of victims or the community.

 

Matthew 18 does not stop with private correction. Jesus describes involving one or two others and, when necessary, bringing the matter to the Church.

Those additional people should be appropriate witnesses or competent pastoral authorities who can help establish truth and seek correction. They are not simply friends recruited to support one side.

Speak about what you actually know and distinguish facts from assumptions, interpretations, or guesses about another person’s motives.

Then give the other person a genuine opportunity to respond. Christian correction requires both honesty and humility.

No. Christians are called to forgive, but forgiveness does not erase the need for truth, justice, boundaries, restitution, or appropriate accountability.

Forgiveness means refusing to remain governed by resentment or vengeance. Reconciliation may require repentance, rebuilding trust, and concrete change.

Pray first. Clarify what you actually know and what you may only be assuming. Consider whether a direct conversation is safe and appropriate.

Then examine your motive: are you seeking truth, justice, and the good of the other person, or simply vindication?

When correction is appropriate, enter the conversation prepared both to speak honestly and to listen.

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